I don’t know who I hate more tbh, you or me. You promised you wouldn’t leave, but you did even after I came back for you. I know I’m a complicated lil bitch but I wanted & needed you to stay. I’m not talking in a relationship kind of way bc let’s face it, I knew you’d find someone better. You were busy with her while I spent most of the days completely drunk, watching you fall for her, my stomach in knots & wanting the pain to stop. But friendship wise. I told you everything. I let you in & now you’re gone. You say I put no effort what so ever but I do you just don’t see it. I want you to miss me too ygm. I hate you for leaving, telling me all that bs. I hate myself for letting you in. I knew I never should’ve. I stood in front of a mirror & eventually ending up crying & breaking it. The pain is so strong. People keep asking why the fuck am I still hooked on you but they’ll never get it. You asked why I have a wall of steal up. Well this is why, people leave eventually & it hurts like hell. Don’t you see what you’ve done to me? On Christmas I waited for a text from you but got nothing. Then on New Years & again, nothing. It looks to be I was just an entertainment for you. Words I’ve had the guts to say; “I fucking miss you Eric. & I hate myself for that” I’m sorry we met. I really am.
A stupid guy over the internet has wrecked me lol. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve gone insane haha.
Honestly I just hope I don’t wake up tomorrow. I’m tired of “staying strong” Suicide seems like an easy way out.